​The hardest moments in a career often become the most valuable. From navigating business crises to having uncomfortable conversations, great leaders learn to face problems rather than avoid them.

In the latest episode of The MorePeople Podcast, Andrew Fitzmaurice is joined by Mark Kitson, an experienced business leader and consultant who spent much of his career in the food and hospitality sector, including senior roles at Whitbread and Costa Coffee.

Today, Mark works with leadership teams across sectors, helping organisations navigate change, conflict, strategy and some of the difficult conversations that come with them.

And one theme runs through much of his experience: Sometimes the biggest lessons come from the moments when things don't go according to plan.

You don't have to have all the answers

Mark's career has taken him through periods of significant growth, change and, inevitably, challenges.

One particularly formative experience came during his time leading Costa Coffee's business in Russia. A model that had initially worked well began to struggle as the business expanded. Mark found himself in the difficult position of being the person who had to tell his Managing Director that the strategy wasn't working and that the business was going to lose significant amounts of money.

That's not an easy conversation for anyone.

But it also became one of the most valuable experiences of his career.

He wasn't just responsible for delivering the bad news. He then had to help work through the options, make difficult decisions and ultimately lead the business through a turnaround before selling it back to its Russian partner. Those experiences now shape how Mark works with clients facing their own challenges. Because when you're sitting across the table from a leadership team that feels like everything is falling apart, experience matters.

Knowing that you've been through something difficult before and come out the other side, can change the way you approach the next crisis.

The isolation of leadership isn't talked about enough

Success tends to be very visible.

The promotion.
The board position.
The big presentation.
The growth figures.
The announcement that everyone celebrates.

What isn't quite so visible is what happens when things aren't going well.

Mark describes some of those moments as bringing feelings of fear and isolation. When you're succeeding, people want to be around you. When things start to go wrong, people can become more distant. And suddenly, the conversations that you most need to have become the conversations everyone is trying to avoid.

That's where leadership really gets tested. Because difficult conversations rarely become easier by waiting.

The uncomfortable conversation might be the most important one

A major part of Mark's work now involves helping leadership teams have better conversations. That might mean addressing conflict, discussing poor performance, challenging an existing strategy or acknowledging that something simply isn't working.

Our natural instinct is often to avoid these conversations.

We look for an easier solution. We delay the meeting. We soften the message. We hope the problem resolves itself. Usually, it doesn't. Instead, Mark advocates getting the problems out on the table and reframing them. Rather than making the conversation:

"What have you done wrong?"

it becomes:

"What has happened, what has changed and how do we solve this together?"

That distinction can be powerful.

When people feel personally responsible for a problem, they can become defensive. But when you can separate the individual from the circumstances surrounding the problem, you create more space to actually solve it. The question stops being "Who is to blame?" and becomes "What do we do next?"

Change doesn't happen at the same speed for everyone

Another challenge for leadership teams is that people respond to change differently. Some people embrace it immediately. Others need time to process what it means before they are ready to engage. Neither response is necessarily right or wrong.

Understanding those differences can help leaders communicate more effectively and avoid expecting everyone to move through change at exactly the same pace. Mark uses personality profiling and one-to-one coaching as tools to help teams understand these differences. Sometimes the most effective intervention isn't to push harder.

It's simply to pause.

Give someone the space to process. Allow them to ask questions. Let them work through their concerns away from the pressure of the wider group. Because processing something privately can often be much easier than trying to do it in front of everyone else.

Coaching isn't always about giving advice

One of the most interesting parts of the conversation is Mark's perspective on coaching. He recalls a manager earlier in his career who was willing to give him the unvarnished truth - both about what he was doing well and where he needed to improve. That experience had a significant impact on his career.

Today, Mark is a strong advocate for coaching, but his approach isn't necessarily about having all the answers. In fact, increasingly, he sees coaching as creating the space for someone else to find their own answers. That might mean asking the right question. It might mean challenging an assumption. Or it might simply mean listening.

Sometimes people don't need someone to tell them what to do. They need an opportunity to step away from the noise, articulate what they're thinking and make sense of it for themselves.

The power of actually listening

It sounds simple, but genuinely listening is harder than it looks.

We're often listening while simultaneously preparing our response. We're thinking about what we're going to say next, what advice we're going to give or what question we're going to ask. Mark's advice is to resist that instinct.

Be present.

Don't be afraid of silence. A pause doesn't necessarily mean the conversation has stalled. Sometimes it gives someone the space they need to say what they actually mean. And perhaps most importantly, don't listen simply to respond. Listen to understand. That principle is particularly important in leadership, where the person in the room with the most authority isn't necessarily the person with the best answer.

Find someone a few steps ahead of you

Coaching doesn't necessarily have to mean hiring an executive coach. For people earlier in their careers, Mark suggests finding someone who is simply a few steps ahead. That could be a colleague, a former manager, someone within your wider network or even a friend of a friend. They don't need to have all the answers.

They just need to be willing to give you an hour every month to talk, challenge your thinking and help you look at things from a different perspective. And there's a benefit for the person doing the coaching too. As Mark explains, when you coach someone else, you're learning at the same time. The questions you ask other people can often make you reflect on your own career and decisions.

Development isn't one-way traffic.

What separates high performers?

Towards the end of the conversation, Andrew asks Mark what distinguishes the people who go on to become high performers. His answer is surprisingly straightforward:

Focus and an ecosystem of support.

High performers tend to know what they're trying to achieve and have a clear sense of the steps needed to get there. But they also invest heavily outside of work. That might mean family, relationships, fitness, hobbies or other interests. The specifics vary, but the principle remains the same: high performance doesn't necessarily mean making work your entire life.

In fact, being able to switch off and invest in other areas can help people return to work with more energy and clarity. It's about finding the balance that works for you and being able to switch between different areas of life with the same level of commitment.

Failure isn't the opposite of success

Perhaps the biggest takeaway from Mark's career is that difficult experiences aren't necessarily setbacks. The moments where things went wrong; the failed strategies, the uncomfortable conversations, the crises and the uncertaintybecame some of the most valuable experiences he could take forward.

Leadership isn't about avoiding problems. It's about developing the confidence and resilience to face them. And sometimes, the most important thing a leader can do is simply acknowledge:

"This isn't working. Let's work out what we're going to do about it."

Because the difficult conversation you're avoiding today might just be the one that unlocks tomorrow's solution.

Listen to the full episode for more insights from Mark's career and his experience working with leadership teams navigating change and challenging situations.

​

​